Down the Rabbit Hole

I do not want this to be a political blog by any means but these are some of my feelings lately as I have watched the news. I am scared for this country and hope that it can correct itself before it's too late.

 

In America it seems as though what once was up is now down. What was wrong is somehow now okay. Things we fought against destroying our nation we now welcome with open arms. We welcome it without the slightest of hesitation.

What turned us from a country that fought for freedom to one that simply watches from the sideline as bureaucrats slowly swindle it away? When did political parties with morals turn into the punch line of bad jokes?

We are now over a trillion dollars in debt, the unemployment numbers continue to rise, and our government says everything is fine. We see what is happening but we somehow still listen to a teleprompter puppet tell us lies from the tablecloth and we say ok. We say all is well, all is well. It is not.

Since when are companies and states too big to fail? Who decided that it was a good idea for our government to invest more of our money into these already failing companies? I am pretty sure we all learned in high school economics that investing in a failing company was a bad idea. In fact I think it is common sense. Maybe I am being too hard on our congress men and women. Maybe not.

California, New York, don’t beg for help. It is your financial problem to deal with and unless we get to vote for your leaders, hold your tongue. It was your frivolous spending got you into that mess, you find a way out, or, fail.

We the people are what made, and still make this country great. We fought to free ourselves from England’s grip. We came together after tearing ourselves apart during the Civil War. We pulled America out of the Great Depression during WWII by working hard and standing together.

We are a great nation, let us not be weak, let us not be idle, and let us not be mocked. Let us arise and take our country back from those who seem so pleased to violate the very Constitution that founded our country. It is possible America, we can do this. We have the right to vote, vote. We have the right to free speech, speak. We have the right to peacefully assemble, assemble.

It is time to wake up America, be the restless giant that I know you are. I am afraid that if we don’t act soon when we do wake up, we will be in red pajamas.

The Better Choice

All through our lives we find things that are the best for us, or so we think. When we were kids we though it was best for us to stay up later then our parents would let us. We thought that sugary cereals, candy, soda, and junk foods were the best choice of food.

As we grew we discovered that those things, however delicious, are best consumed in moderation. We learn that fruits and vegetables are better for our bodies and don’t make our stomachs ache. We learned that there is a better choice.

In our teenage years rock concerts, staying out all night, going to parties, and a popular high school status were the things that were best for us. We walked across a stage and received our high school diploma, we moved on. Our classmates went out into the world and we were left to ourselves. We began to understand that getting enough sleep, family time, and praise from people that are important to us is better for us. We learned that there is a better choice.

We fall in love. We become so happy, so enthralled, so very in love. Nothing can change our mind, nothing can shake the feelings, and nothing can take us from the euphoric high. Our hearts pound in rhythmic pleasure as we hold hands and our lips touch. It is what we all desire. We desire to be with that person more than anything.

I was in those shoes not too long ago. I thought I had found the woman I wanted to be with. We were going to get married. I thought I was in love, I thought I was sure, I thought that no matter what, we could work it out. I thought wrong. I was blinded by my own desires to see the reality of the situation. The drama, the madness, the sheer impossibility that was created by stubborn people was enough to wear us out.

She wasn’t strong enough to stand up for me, the person that she said she loved and wanted to be with. She could have overcome it but she didn’t. She was still a girl and not the woman I desired. As I look at it now I see how unhappy I would have been with her. She was not the best choice for me.

I know that there is a stronger woman out there. I know that there is a more driven woman out there. I know that there is a woman out there that will make me so much happier in every way. There is a woman that will be a much better choice.

Walking to Paris

I am walking to Paris. It is a long walk, but I enjoy it. The scenery continuously changes and is never boring. I have passed some familiar areas but most are new. One week I was in the mountains climbing down a cliff face, the next I was in suburbia. I have gone through forests, over rivers, under highways, and along sidewalks. I have walked miles.

The walk has been filled with words, symbols and silence. Some words are more formal, some are sarcastic, words none the less. Words have gotten to know me and words have described me, and through words I have been able to express my feelings along the way.

I haven’t been traveling alone. In fact the trip is as much for her as for me. We travel together. We talk, we laugh, we don’t know what to expect but we walk. We have walked for miles now. We wandered over railroad tracks, climbed to mountain tops, and have even gotten lost.

The stars have been our entertainment. It doesn’t matter where we are we can always see them. Car hoods, rusty chairs, warm asphalt, along darkened streets and grass banks. The stars are there. On cloudy nights they have reassured us with there twinkling light made visible through small holes in the grays above us.

We have grown from strangers, to acquaintances, friends to more. We grow and it seems as though the miles shrink. Miles that once seemed endless are now enjoyable. They are enjoyable for the sounds, the sights, the feelings, but mostly the company.

Company that makes me think, lets me express, helps me grow, and simply understands. Understands where I come from, understands how it feels, understands the discomfort, but believes it is for a reason. A reason for hurt, for solitude, for life, for health, a reason for everything.

There are many miles ahead, and many obstacles that lie in wait. There are things that will be harder then others. We focus on where we are now, not getting ahead of ourselves. One step at a time, one foot after the other, left and then right, right then left. We are walking. We are walking to Paris.

A View Into My Thought Process

I know by the title alone this seems like it could be a scary prospect. It scares me to even think that I put my thinking process on cyber-paper. So read at your own risk. Remember I warned you. Honestly, I hope you enjoy.

My Thought Process

I have so many thoughts in my head that little can escape the tangled mess of numbers, rules and random facts. When a thought does escape it seems to take the form of a relayed dream from the night before, and almost never makes sense. “You were there, but it wasn’t you,” “I was running and there was this cliff and I fell,” “The pool was full of Jell-O and I only had ten seconds to eject but I couldn’t get my slippers off.” You know how dreams are.

Sometimes a thought comes and other thoughts hold on to it, like little red monkeys emerging from a blue barrel linked only by a millimeter grip and the pull of gravity. Almost always a random thought comes from nowhere causing the monkeys to fall clinking against the wood floor. Systematically, the thoughts are put back in the barrel and my mind begins re-linking them in a new pattern.

I don’t know why I haven’t been able to get thoughts out lately and words aren’t flowing as usual. It could be simply because my mind is a little preoccupied with several things. Some hold more importance then others, others seem to hold more attention, attention is in short supply, thus my problem.

I have the ball-and-chain of school gripping tighter around my ankle, not wanting to let me go in a few weeks. It is trying to drain me of all desire to do anything and everything. On the other hand I also have helium balloons tied to my wrist balancing out the pull so I guess I can’t complain.

It is a new and exciting time in my life with so much going on. Maybe that’s what it is, over stimulation and too much stimuli. I think that is a safe bet, not to mention more scientific. I think that it is diagnoses confirmed for my current state of mind.